How to ask for a referral without making it weird
Make it easy to say yes. Make it easier to say no.
Ask people who know your work, or someone you have had a real conversation with. Send the job link and two lines on why you fit, so they can refer you in a minute. And give them an easy way to say no. A referral is someone putting their name next to yours, so make it easy and make it optional.
Who can actually refer you
- Former colleagues and managers who have seen your work. The strongest referrals.
- Friends and classmates at the company. Good, if they can say something true about you.
- Someone you met through a real conversation about the role. Possible, after the conversation.
- A stranger you have never spoken to. Mostly no. Ask for a conversation instead.
When to ask
Before you apply, or on the same day. Many companies only count a referral if it arrives before or with your application, and a referral for a role that is already full of applicants carries less weight.
The message
It is short, it links the job, it gives them the sentence they need for the referral form, and the last line lets them decline without an awkward conversation.
Make it easy to say yes
- Send the exact job link, not "a role on your team".
- Attach or link your resume.
- Write the one or two lines they could paste into the referral form.
- If they refer you, thank them, and tell them how it went later. Whatever happens.
If they say no, or nothing
Say thanks and leave it. One gentle nudge after a week is fine if they simply missed it. Pushing turns a contact into someone who avoids your messages.
HUNT finds the people worth reaching at a company you are targeting, says why each one is relevant, and drafts the first message for you to send. See how HUNT handles networking.
Related: Recruiter, hiring manager or future teammate?, What to send after someone ignores your LinkedIn message and How to write a cold LinkedIn message for a job search.
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